42nd letter from Mihai

Mon 25 Aug, 2025 Colmar, France

Hey Reader,

This week we were lucky. Cléo’s grandparents, my in-laws, were very available. They’re leaving on holiday today, so the whole week they said: let us take Cléo as much as we can.

It gave us some time off, and they also got to spend more time with her now that she’s older.They took her to the pool and the park a few times.

And they really encouraged us to take time for ourselves, to do some couple activities.

Tuesday we went canyoning, another day we went to the movies, and then Friday, again, they offered to take Cléo.

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On Tuesday Aurélie planned. On Friday, I told myself: this time I’ll decide.

In the past I would have asked her, “What do you want to do?” But I’ve learned something else. To kind of “menu the world” for her.

So I looked for two options. One was staying in Colmar, dinner and a movie. The other was taking a train to Strasbourg to a Korean barbecue place. Both things I knew she would enjoy and I would enjoy too.

We ended up doing the second one.

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The lesson for me was this. If I want to show up for Aurélie and make her life easier, asking “what do you want?” isn’t always the way. Especially on a last-minute date.

It can feel like too much.

So instead, I offer two choices I know I can organize. Then she can pick.

If she has the energy, she chooses. If she’s too tired, I can go ahead and guide us.

It’s not about getting it right. I like this word antifragile. No matter what happens, it’s okay. If she enjoys it, if I enjoy it, great. If not, at least I learn something. I practice proposing, initiating, taking action. I’m OK – You’re OK.

And it doesn’t have to be big. It can be as small as, “Do you feel more like eating out tonight, or ordering pizza?”

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This idea of “menu the world” is something I’m talking more about in the Rooted 21 Challenge.

I’ve already finished the first two weeks, and now I’m working on week three. Six people have signed up so far and are already on day three. It's exciting.

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I want to tell you a bit more about Rooted 21.

I’ve put a lot of effort into it. And if you’ve been reading these emails for a while, you already know a bit about me. I don't want to offend you by trying to persuade or manipulate you with fancy copy.

I just want to be clear about what it is.
It’s 21 days, 21 emails. Each one with something small you can do to improve your connection. All actions that come from you, without waiting for your partner.

Every day starts with a one-minute video of me telling a short story from my life. Then I write what I learned from it and end with an action for you to take. When you finish it, you click a button, and the next day is delivered. All under 10 minutes a day.

If you go through the first week and you don’t like it, I’ll refund you. No questions asked.

So best case, you learn something new and use it. Worst case, you try it, it’s not for you, and you get your money back.

For me, it’s also a way to know if this kind of work matters to you. If you’ve found these letters valuable, signing up is one way of showing me that and supporting my work.

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The cost is 47 dollars. I wanted it affordable, but also something you’d commit to.

A few months ago I did a survey. Thirty-one of you answered. The biggest challenge was connection and communication with your partner.

And when I asked how you prefer to learn, you said books and "to figure it out alone".

That’s why I made it like this: self-paced, do it on your own time.

And also because men grow through challenge. So it’s a 21-day email challenge. Every action under 10 minutes. One email at a time, go at your own pace.

I’m keeping this first round open for three more days. After that I’ll close it to collect feedback and see what needs to be improved.

Thanks for reading. If you have questions, just hit reply. I’ll stop here for today.

Join the Rooted 21 Challenge

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