Hey Reader,

Today I want to share two stories about driving.
How my reactions changed in just a matter of a few days, once I understood something.

This might not be a big thing for you.
I don’t know.
But for me, it really changed how I show up.

On Saturday we decided to go camping. Totally spontaneous.
We packed everything in like half an hour, threw it all in the car.
Aurélie was already in the back, next to Cléo in her baby seat.
And since we didn’t have a lot of space, I put the stroller in the passenger seat.

The way I loaded it, though, it ended up really close to the gear stick.
I didn’t think much of it. I started pulling out of the parking lot, slowly, and right away Aurélie said, kind of alarmed, “Mihai, Mihai, Mihai.”
That triggered me. I lost my center.

She said, “You can’t go like this. You can’t drive like this.”
And we got into an argument.
I wasn’t actually going to drive like that. I was literally about to move the stroller to make space for the gear stick.
But I got defensive.

Later I was trying to understand why. Why I reacted like that.
I talked it through with my coach, and what came up was that I had made it mean something.
I was making it mean I was a bad driver, or that I wasn’t paying attention, or maybe that I wasn’t someone she could trust.

And all of that happened instantly.
This whole story just popped into my head, without even realizing it.

Then today, something similar happened.
We were heading out for a family photo shoot.
Same setup. Aurélie and Cléo in the back. I was driving.

At some point, after a traffic light, I got a bit too close to the car in front of us. It had slowed down.
And Aurélie had this little gasp.

And this time, I didn’t react the same way.
What my coach had helped me see came back to me.
That Aurélie wasn’t making a statement about me.
She was just reacting to how she felt in that moment.

She didn’t feel safe.
That was it.

It wasn’t about me being irresponsible, or doing something wrong. She just didn’t feel safe in that moment.

And I could sit with that.
I didn’t need to correct it or argue or explain.
I could just stay with her emotion without making it about me.

I said, “Okay, so that felt scary for you, getting so close to that car.”
Then I asked, “We’re okay now, right? We’re safe.”

That was it.
That was the moment.

It might seem small.
But for me, something shifted.

I don’t react the same way now when Aurélie says something about not feeling safe.
It helps.

I also don’t feel the same pressure to protect this perfect version of myself.
The one who never makes mistakes.
That was part of it too. I was trying to hold on to that.

But I see now, maybe I do make mistakes.
And maybe that’s okay.

And when someone reacts to something I’ve done, it doesn’t always mean something about who I am.
It can just mean they’re feeling something.
That something’s coming up for them in that moment.

And when I remember that, I can stay a bit more present.
I’m not so caught up in the story, and I can actually just be there with them.

That’s what I wanted to share today.
Hope you’re well.

You received this email because you subscribed or bought one of our products. Unsubscribe | Preferences | Aristide Briand, Colmar, France 68000