Last night, Aurélie went out dancing while I stayed back to put Cléo to bed.

I had been with her for an hour, and she was right on the verge of falling asleep. Just then, Aurélie came home. She wanted to come in, say goodnight, and give her a kiss. My instinct took over. I shushed her and waved at her to leave.

Later, we had a conversation about how that made her feel. It reminded her of a time at the airport in Romania where I told her to "shut up" because I was focused on getting our luggage through without extra fees.

In both moments—the bedroom and the airport—I was on a "mission." I felt like she was interfering with that mission, and I was protecting it. But it opened up a larger realization for me: There is a difference between protecting a task and leading a family.

We’ve been together for a bit over three years. We are a young family, still figuring out how to cooperate. But I’m realizing that if I’m not connected to myself, to spirit, or to God, I will always feel inadequate. I will feel like any interruption is a threat.

This is why I’m building Rooted Dad. It’s my way of being in the driver’s seat.

Rooted Dad is about having a vision so clear that you don’t have to react out of fear or "shush" the people you love to keep things on track. Most men are just reacting. But what happens if your wife or your kids look at you today and ask, "What is the vision you have for our family?"

If you don't know, you aren't rooted. And you’ll feel like you’re being punished for not being ready.

But when you have that clarity, you aren’t just "protecting a mission", you are providing the roots. You are taking the weight off your partner’s shoulders. You are showing your kids, by example, what it looks like to be a person who knows where they are coming from and where they are heading.

Having strong roots matters more now than ever in a world where everything changes from week to week. You can find parenting advice anywhere, but family leadership comes from the heart. It comes from knowing what you stand for and what you are no longer willing to tolerate.

I’m building Rooted Dad with you, clarifying my own vision through these letters and the conversations we're having. Whether your family asks for your vision or not, you need to know what it is.

I’m curious: has your partner ever asked you where the "ship" is going? And did you have an answer, or did you feel that flash of inadequacy?

Let’s talk about it.

PS. If you want to unlock your leadership at home without sacrificing success at work, reply ROOTED and I’ll share more details.

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