Dear Reader,

Dear reader,

I’m recording this from the seat of my bike, on the last day of a cycling trip here in Alsace. I’m riding at the back of the group, enjoying the quiet, and reflecting on something I wanted to share with you.

You might remember the dinner I wrote about recently, with the venture capitalist, the doctor, and the flight attendant. Since then, I’ve spent a whole week with them, from sunrise to sunset. As a guide, I’m a mechanic, translator, problem solver, restaurant coach, even a bit of an entertainer. It’s basically babysitting for adults. They switch their brains off on holiday and let me carry the details.

Yesterday evening, the conversation turned to challenge. Willpower . What keeps you going (wrote more about it here). And watching these three over the week has given me a lot to think about, especially about how we raise our kids, or even how we motivate ourselves.

The doctor fell on day one, scraped his knee, and stayed on the simplest routes. He wasn't taking any risks, so he's out of our story. The flight attendant skipped rides whenever possible, choosing comfort over challenge, happy to stay behind or ride in the van.

And then there was the venture capitalist. Eighty-two years old! That is not a typo. 82. He has the energy of someone half his age, riding every single route, adding the hardest options, turning down the power assist on his e-bike, basically pushing himself like a twenty-year-old. Always curious, always cracking jokes, no drama.

He is alive in a way that you can feel.

And it made me think where he may get this from and how it relates to the way we've been raised or how we raise our kids.

It all starts with praise.

If you tell your child “good job” for every little thing, they learn to look for that like one would look for a fix. They start doing things not because they enjoy them, but because they want the approval. So they pick the safest, easiest way to get that praise. They avoid challenge.

That is how a fixed mindset forms.

I know this pattern. I lived it. Always chasing good grades. Trying to be the good kid. Pleasing everyone. Maybe you did too.

If instead you praise their effort, or simply let them feel the accomplishment on their own, they build confidence from the inside. They stay curious. They seek out challenge. That is a growth mindset.

You can see that difference in adults too.

The flight attendant took the safe road, the familiar airline job for forty-seven years, the easier route on the bike. There is nothing wrong with that, but you can feel the difference.

The venture capitalist built a life on risk, challenge, exploration. And here he is, in his eighties, still looking for hills to climb.

That is the power of a growth mindset. And that is what I hope to nurture in my own daughter. That she does not get stuck in a loop of “good job” and safe choices. That she feels free to stretch. To try. To fail. To rise again.

Maybe that is what you want for your kids or grandkids too.

​

Stay rooted,
​Mihai

Wake Up. Live Fully.

P.S. If this sparks something for you, hit reply and tell me. I read every note. Hearing your stories helps me keep going, just like that eighty-two-year-old on the bike.

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