Hey Reader,

I have an unusual letter today. I am writing from a small hotel room after a long day. Plan A did not work. It rarely does. I ate supermarket sushi while talking with Aurélie on the phone, then sat down to tell you about it.

I am in the Loire Valley guiding a cycling trip with twelve travelers from the US and Canada. It has been a good group and I have enjoyed the conversations. This morning we visited Chenonceau. After the visit, on the road out, one of our riders missed a turn, slid into a ditch, and struck a tree. She hit her head and shoulder.

She is stable. The head wound needed stitches and the scans look fine. The shoulder is broken and she’ll have surgery tomorrow.

This is part of guide life. Accidents happen. What I want to share is how the team handled it and what it showed me.

I am proud of my reaction today. Years ago I would panic, freeze, or step back and let others take charge. Today I felt steady. I chose to bring calm. I focused on what was in front of me and moved the group forward.

My colleague deserves credit. She was on the bike while I was driving the support van. She heard the rider shout, turned, and saw the fall. The rider’s husband reached her first and tried to move her away from the tree. My colleague stopped him. Do not move her, she said. Then she called me and the ambulance, and kept them both as calm as possible. I am grateful it was her there in that moment. Her instinct helped avoid making things worse.

The rest of the day I handled the ten remaining guests on my own and took care of all the logistics, while my colleague was at the hospital. We adjusted the plan and carried on. It was a long day, but it turned out fine.

An old lesson came back from my days guiding snowmobiles. When the machine is buried in snow, you shouldn’t start digging it out right away. You take your helmet off. Let your head breathe so you can think. Then act.

Today I was reminded that reactions can change. We can learn. When something looks urgent, take one step back, breathe, and assess. Think clearly before you move. The first impulse usually makes things worse. The best first move is to pause.

I think many of us would benefit from strengthening this muscle. We rush to fix, we jump to solve. But what's better is to take a breath so we can respond with presence instead of panic.

Thanks for reading.

One dad figuring it out, same as you.
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P.S. If you want to take this further, I made a short self-assessment for dads. It takes two minutes and might give you some clarity. You can find it here.

See more of my work at rooteddad.com​

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