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Tue 23 Feb, 2026
Colmar, France
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Hey Reader,
Today I went to an inflatable playground with Aurélie and Cléo. At some point, I hear a dad yelling at his daughters. It breaks my heart each time I see that happening, because I know how damaging it is for everyone. And I also know there's a better way.
The dad wants to pass his message across, but all he achieves is to make his kids afraid of him. It creates more disconnection and misunderstanding.
The kids are having a difficult time, being yelled at by the person they trust the most in that moment. Not a good place to be. The worst is that the voice, tone, and words the dad is using become the kid's inner voice in the long term. That's the scariest outcome for me. Can you imagine internalizing that voice? Each time you make a mistake, your inner voice screams at you. That's a scary life to set your kids up for.
I'm saying this because I know there are better ways to discipline, educate, or raise your kids. You don't have to shout, force, or punish. That's actually the least effective way to do it. I needed years to learn this and many other lessons that apply to parenting, relationships, and the way you talk to yourself.
For a long time, I told myself that these teachings are not new and anyone can access them. But I'm learning that in the sea of noise we live in, there's always a need for clarity and for a path to follow.
If I ever want the Rooted Dad way to be helpful, I need to start by stating more clearly what I stand for, even if I'm repeating what others have said. I will say it in my own way.
Nobody knows anything. That's the line that stayed with me from a book I read last year, "That will never work".
This is the 80th letter I'm sending. 80 letters were enough to get the feel of it. And continuing from my last letter, when I wrote that I don't want to use AI anymore in my writing, I have another directional change to announce. (If you wonder why this letter is so messy, now you know - there's no AI in here).
Last week, I had a call with one of my (3) paying subscribers. I love talking to other dads and seeing what's on their minds and hearts. I realised men need spaces to express, support, and challenge each other. I also realised what I've been doing here with my letters.
I've been sharing what's been on my mind and heart, like I do in my journal. The issue is that each weekday I've been sending Cold Showers, a short publication where I share one idea that stands out for me. This forced me to write more, but it also means I have fewer ideas for this letter.
After the call I was telling you about, I got this message:
I enjoyed getting to know you a bit more and I appreciate what you envison accomplishing with The Rooted Dad.
This dad shared with me what he was going through, similar to what I'm doing in these letters. But I realised that it's time to level up. If all we do is share what we're experiencing, there's no space for leadership and guidance.
And as this dad shared, those who read my letters, including you, expect more from me than simply reading my journal. So, where I'm going with this:
The world is no longer in the age of information. You can discover anything on the internet within seconds. We are in the age of insight. Sharing what helped me is more valued than simply sharing information.
And you don't want to read my letters to hear me whine. You want to feel like we're walking together towards a clearer version of ourselves. Towards our common vision of becoming "Rooted Dads".
Instead of simply sharing my thoughts, I prefer to write about what I learn and how this helps me. What works for me may work for you, too.
So I'll be writing more on boundaries, using positive language, or reconnecting after conflict. Themes that help you in relation to your kids, your partner, and yourself.
What do you think about this direction? What would you like me to write about?
One dad figuring it out, same as you.
P.S. These letters aren’t a broadcast, they’re a conversation. If something speaks to you, or even stirs you the wrong way, just hit reply. I read every message.
If these letters help you slow down or see things more clearly, you can support this work by becoming a paid subscriber.
Paid subscribers get:
• Weekday Cold Showers
Short, grounding notes you can come back to when you feel scattered, disconnected, or stuck in your head. Full archive included.
• Private chat access
A quiet space to ask questions, share what’s coming up for you, or reflect without performing.
• 1:1 Clarity Call
One call with me where we talk about what’s going on in your life: relationships, fatherhood, direction, and staying grounded.
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