I’m sitting at a café in Colmar, next to a small square near the city center.

It’s finally sunny after a week of gray skies and cold wind. People are moving around me, flags waving in the distance, birds chirping. I can feel the sun warming my skin—I’m even in a t-shirt for the first time in days. It feels like spring’s just around the corner.

But inside, I feel a little distracted. A bit all over the place.

On paper, things are moving—business, family, life. I’m making progress.

And yet, underneath that, there’s this hesitation. This constant second-guessing.
It shows up as overthinking, needing to find the perfect strategy, the perfect framework before I act.

It’s a pattern I’ve noticed a lot in myself. Always waiting, doubting, looking around for someone else to tell me what to do.

And the more I sit with it, the more I realize: it’s not random. It’s not about the framework.

It’s deeper.

This hesitation ties back to my relationship with my father.

In two days, I’ll visit my parents.

Every time I go back, I tell myself:

"This time, I won’t fall into old patterns."
"This time, I’ll stay grounded, present, not triggered."

And yet—without fail—it happens.

What I’ve come to understand is that this part of me, the part that waits, hesitates, doubts…

It mirrors something I see in my father.

Whenever I see him not respecting himself, not making decisions, not standing firmly—I snap.

It frustrates me.

But the truth is, that side of him exists in me too.

And when I see it in him, it reflects back something I don’t like in myself.

This realization really hit me in a conversation with a client yesterday.

Funny enough, he’s also visiting his parents this week—and facing similar feelings with his own father.

It made me think:

How much of our energy is wrapped up in these unconscious ties to our fathers?

Either trying to copy them…

Or doing everything we can to be the opposite.

Either way, they shape us more than we realize.

For me, I’m done letting that hesitation control how I show up.

So when I get home, I’ve decided I’ll find a moment to walk with my father.

And I’ll tell him, honestly, what I’ve realized.

That it’s not his fault.
That I see now how I’ve been projecting my own self-doubt onto him.
That I love him—and that I want to step into my own path, free of expectations.

And after that, it’s on me.

To stop waiting.
To stop doubting.
To act.
To lead.

Not from rebellion.
Not from avoidance.
But because I can.

It reminded me of something I read recently—the idea that, in order to truly become men, we need to "kill" our fathers.

Not literally, of course.

But symbolically.

We need to cut the unconscious ties—stop living in reaction to them, whether copying or resisting.

So that’s where I’m at.

It feels uncomfortable.

But also necessary.

It feels like getting a piece of myself back.

What about you?

Is there something you’ve been putting off because it feels uncomfortable?

Do you see any patterns in your life that might be tied to how you relate to your parents?

That’s what’s been on my mind this week.

Thanks for reading.

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Enjoy life,
​Mihai

P.S. Want to wake up and live fully? Join The Dad Reset—a 30-day program to help you take back control of your life—fast.

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